Short-sighted

Maybe this isn’t your story, but at one time it was my reality. Whether it was real, or only in my mind, my husband and I could not see eye to eye on anything. We argued constantly. I would pray daily for God to take either one or both of us if He could not get glory from us. My humanistic perspective was based only on what I could see during that challenging tine.

Fast-forward several years, with teenagers in the house, and I am so thankful that both of us are still around. I was never a boy. My husband was never a girl. And in that reality, being able to relate individually to both our boy and girl is such a blessing. My husband has the skills needed to teach our son to be a man of integrity. I have the skills needed to teach our daughter to be a woman of strength and courage with a quiet spirit – well, I may be still working on the quiet spirit part!!! But, you get the idea, right?

In our individuality we each have gifts and a way of seeing and interacting with the world around us. I cannot live within the mindset of my husband. I’ve actually tried and let me tell you, I was miserable. But, even more miserable is if I expect my husband, and by extension our son, to see and interact with the world in the same way I do. They are not built the same way I am. Their psyche does not respond to situations, or solve problems in the same way mine does. But, better yet, I don’t actually have the tools nor the ability to look at the world and discern in the same way they can.

There have been so many times when my husband has saved me from my naive self because of his vantage point. Thankfully, he loves me enough to speak truth to me even when I have a hard time receiving. I remember one time telling him with tears running down my face, “Tell me again. I want to do what you’re asking me, but my foolish pride is getting in the way. So, please tell me again. Don’t give up on me because I truly am not trying to put myself in danger.” Yes, I have a habit of doing that. But, God bless my husband. That man comes and rescues me every time.

I guess the point is this. I was wrong to pray that God take one or both of us, and I’ve asked forgiveness for that. And, I’m willing to admit I was short-sighted. The part I want my children to learn as they continue to grow is that it’s ok to see the world as God allows you. Be free to enjoy that, and be careful that you recognize the way others see the world is just as real to them as the way you see it.

Lord, may I have your eyes. Help me see with your eyes.

The Lions’ Den

I was walking down the hallway at work this morning, praying for the day and had to stop for a few minutes when this allegory crossed my heart. Do you remember the story of Daniel in the Lion’s Den? There are so many things we can take from that story. Maybe you’ve studied the faithfulness of Daniel even in the midst of an impossibility, or how God saved Daniel. But, I want to explore something a little bit different.

Once I realized I was seeing something a bit different than my work office, I stopped and waited for a minute because I didn’t want to lose the essence of what I experienced. And the essence returned. I saw Daniel sitting among the lions. And, then I saw a picture of today’s world, an environment filled with bickering, complaining, and arguing and the idea that each day lions come in many shapes and sizes. For example, negativity is spread by co-workers gossiping among themselves. Family members may hurt you with their words. Even the voices in your own head may be the loudest – you know the ones – the ones screaming at you that you’re stupid, or you’re never going to figure it out, or you really don’t hear God, or He doesn’t still talk to people the way He did in the Bible, or everyone else has what you want and they don’t deserve it. Yep, I think the voices in our own heads may be the most fierce lions after all.

Nevertheless, the Bible says that God can shut the mouths of those lions. He has the power. He has already proven He can – just look in the book of Daniel if you’re wondering if that’s true. But, just as Daniel says, even if God chooses not to save him from the lions Daniel will serve the Lord anyway.

I’ve had a few lions the past couple of months. At work, at home, even in my own mind. But, when I get quiet and I ask The Lord what I should do – because after all, there must be something I should be doing to fix my problems, right? – He tells me, “Shhh, just wait.” Of course, I must not have heard properly and as my anxiety increases as my mind regurgitates my worries over again, I ask again, “Lord, what should I do?” I sense a smile this time as He graciously repeats Himself, “Shh, just wait. I’ve got you.”

So, now I have a choice. Either I believe The Lord is shutting all of those lion’s mouths and all I need to do is wait, or I believe I need to “do something.” What if sitting right in that den of lions is the very best place for me to be? What if, though it may be uncomfortable, my faith can only grow when I am sitting among the lions. What if the beauty of the next morning is seeing the hand of God move. But, I am guaranteed to miss the miracle if I don’t be still and wait. I’ll be so busy doing “something” that I will miss the “amazing.”

Dear Lord, thank you for the lions.

May you keep my mouth shut so I am not a lion in someone else’s life.

And, Lord, I have trouble, as you know, being quiet and waiting.

Thank you for your patience, and for your provision.

Teach me to trust you and honor you in the wait.

In Jesus’ Name.

My own author

I was dreaming a bit this last week, and there was a picture (or maybe more of an impression) I saw of my life. It was represented as a book, and each day a separate page. I didn’t understand at first, and so I asked to understand. Clarity quickly came over me as well as the enjoyment I feel each time I read a good book. The anticipation, the awareness of possibility and even the beauty of the description all combine into an experience I enjoy again and again. The vision continued to develop encompassing the idea that I have no knowledge when I start the story of the details the author will weave for each of their characters, the adventures they will encounter nor the tools at their disposal.

So in my semi-conscious state, I was left with the impression that similarly, my life is like a book. And, just like when reading any other story, I don’t know all the events that will transpire to make the story unique and memorable. I don’t know what comes on the pages of tomorrow, nor can I fully remember the details on yesterday’s manuscript. But today, by selecting each letter in synchronicity of thought, mind and body, I get to tell the story. And, all at once the wonder of the adventure, the details woven together for my growth, and the reality of tools to help me along the journey filled my being. Gone was the idea that I had the responsibility of writing someone else’s story along with the thought that I was only a spectator of my own. Instead, I get to choose how I wanted my story to read.

Today I am able to write the details I want to remember… the bravery of my home-loving daughter after a brand new rock-climbing birthday splash with friends; my son building confidence through his construction project-watching his mind put all of the pieces in order so the puzzle comes together and his animals are kept warm and dry; my husband’s constant dedication to our well-being-and at the same time his need for some time to be around his own people and maybe catch a fish or two. His story on this cold winter day, no doubt, containing descriptions of ice on his fly rod every time he casts the line. And, me? Being fully present holding the other end of the board as the saw churns sawdust into piles, the freedom to pray for and hug my strong and tired little girl and send her to bed with her beloved oaf of a dog.

Today, my page is full, not because of a to-do list of expectations, but because I connected with my children. Today, that’s my story. I cannot do anything about the pages that have already been written. Honestly, I didn’t understand or comprehend I was the one writing them; I didn’t really know I had that privilege. Like many others, I can often feel awash in the currents of life. But, then I learned that I have the gift of choice. I choose where to place my attention. I choose which conversation I want to have and with whom. I can choose not to speak – even when I have to bite my tongue to make it a reality! But, today, this present moment fills the page of my life.

What if this idea is true? What if we actually do get to write the pages of our story? What if, no matter what has come before, or the circumstances that will inevitably arise in the future, what if we really do get to choose what we want to do with the details? Do we want to write them down, or place them on the hamster wheel of our mind until we are dizzy? Do we recognize the possible trap of negativity and choose to walk away?

The details are just the facts. Whether sickness or health, rich or poor, death or life, those are the facts. The question is what do I want my story to share? If I want my book filled with light and love, I have to be able to see the light and love even in the midst of the pain – not to minimize the facts, but to respect that life is more than just the facts, it’s the essence of love. If someone else were to read my story, what would I want them to know? Do they only see shadows of doubt and uncertainty or do they see hope and courage and the possibility of the infinite?

Fledgling Stars in Stellar Nursery by NASA Goddard Photo and Video is licensed under CC-BY 2.0

Dear Jesus, you are infinite.

The Alpha, the Omega, the Beginning and the End.

You alone are to be praised.

That much we know

It is true that we only truly know as much as we have learned up until this present moment. The idea that one person can know everything about any situation is an interesting thought. Let’s explore.

Today, in this present moment the possibilities are endless. Today, begins with a few words typed on a page. While the dishwasher completes its cycle’s rhythm, and the little dog sleeps at his owner’s feet, the house is quiet enough to imagine. The choice of ‘what to do today…” is still in the realm of possibilities, rather than today’s reality. The passage into reality is made through choice. I can choose to burn the trash. I can choose to read a book. I can also choose to deep clean my house or argue with my children. Only when I choose do I move from the realm of possibility into the experience of the concrete, the tangible, the real.

Consider this blog. Two years ago I created the website, paid for the domain, and chose its title. Between that moment and now, even before I paid for the website, this idea has only been in the realm of dreams, of possibilities. Today, when I hit “publish” it becomes reality. So, in the bare-nakedness of what I know today, I can answer my soul’s call to choose this moment. I can enjoy the click of the keyboard beneath my fingers, the openness of the silence and smell of fresh-brewed coffee. I can trust the essence of Truth to continue the work He began in me. He’s not bound by time, space, or known facts. Rather, He continually reveals the abundance of His perfect love; without blemish, without spot, whole and complete, never lacking in zeal.

He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it. He provides the passion, the will to obey, the humility, and the perfect timing.